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GPOY
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Im in the state of mind where all i want to do is scream. Yell at the top of my lungs. I want to be destructive by breaking things and smashing things. Im hurt when i shouldn’t be. I just want to let it all out and cry, but if I did I would probably drown the world in my pain and misery. I knew this was going to happen, but of course i didn’t want it to. How am i suppose to cope. How can I move on. If things were horrid or slightly terrible i would feel relieved. But they weren’t. In my eyes everything was just fine and dandy. There will always be ups and downs its normal. But to just quit and give up… I can’t believe it. I hurt down to my very core. My soul is crumbling. My peace of mind is gone. I can’t seem to find my happiness.
What Now?!?
I need consistency in my life. Just so happens I just lost the one consistent thing in my life. Now it appears that I have no life. No social life what so ever. Cooped up and confined in these walls. Away from other life forms and fleshlings. Losing this one consistency had taken such a toll on my life but has done nothing to his. I despise when people claim to understand or know how you feel. There all lies. No one person can no EXACTLY how the other person feels. Everyone is different. “Oh I know its tough. I used to be stuck in the house too. ” Well thank you for that bit of information but you are wrong. Thats not it. What ever your reason was for being stuck in the house is different from mine.
Friend: a person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side; a supporter. I have these. People who care about me and wish me well instead of ill. After all I am an extremely nice person. But I am not a Socialite. I do not have people who wish to hang out with me. I am not included in anyones circle of friends. I do not get invited out to eat or to the show or anything. The ONE person who did, used to be quite more than a friend. But that relationship is now over. So what the hell am i to do now? Waste away. I wish I had an answer to that question.
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